part of my freak out with my sudden impotence with mr. chicago was … the last time he was here, vanessa, the evil alien staph infection trying to colonize my face, made it tres difficile to have sex.

i like having him as a fuck buddy andthought that this would be a second strike against me.

happy am i to report – he texted me today and may even be back in town next week. i’m glad.

and somewhat surprised. my friends told me i simply got too honest – that since this having drinks by the pool made it more of a date than fuck buddying in a hotel room, i was suddenly dating someone and this caused my mental and penis neurons to shut down.

there is no doubt i live far too much in my head. i just don’t know how other people don’t live sequestered in their heads. this, my Sir informs me, is why i crave the beatings so much. it gets me out of my head.

he also said “expectation is planned disappointment.” here, here!

so. it is flashback friday and i totally ahd a good flashback yesterday and now can’t remember it, so meh. sorry.

squirrel watch:

at the gym, two str8 guys working out. and one guy in a muscle tee, buff, but not cut and had this kind of rounded moon-face – i was totally into him. hot sunburnt guy with lots of tattoos and goatee.

i love san diego.